How may I help you? (April 2020)

Would you like to add a responsible, creative, stoic and cheerful INTJ optimist to your team?
Together, let’s make your “best case scenario” goals come true!

Shepard’s thoughts

Shepard HumphriesI am Shepard Humphries, and a few months ago I was a successful small business owner. My wife and I haven’t made as much money over the last years as we would have if we had stayed in our previous nurse and cop jobs, but we have had a comfortable middle-class lifestyle. In our family business, we had assembled the best team of good humans that has ever existed. This team created TripAdvisor’s highest rated vacation activity in Jackson Hole! In March, 2020, all of our lives changed when government orders shut our business down for one to unk months. The neat thing about life is that obstacles provide challenges and room for growth and new experiences!

Our current family income projections from our business for the rest of the year are down by 92% from past years. While our business is closed, we are still committed to paying all of our bills as we promised, so our business overhead will eat up all of the remaining projected income.

I am seeking opportunities to provide value to you in exchange for money for a time.

  • I don’t have a big ego anymore (well, OK, sometimes I do), AND I am interested in learning about all mutually beneficial opportunities!
  • I can work as a contractor, employee or other status.
  • Part-time or “project” opportunities are of greatest interest.
  • I hope and expect to return to my primary business full-time when the current government response to COVID-19, and the associated damaged economic environment returns to a more freedom-based society.

Things that I am excellent at and/or that are high on my “preferences” list, with #7 being my favorite option:

  1. Accolades for being “Creative” are frequent, I am an “idea-guy” with some of them being “winners”
  2. I can lead your small business or a portion/department of it with excellence
  3. Customer service and sales training MORE INFO
  4. Security consultation and services MORE INFO
  5. Systems, policy and procedures development
  6. My greatest skill is teaching; I enjoy communicating information and skills effectively
  7. I would be very good at using a fellowship grant of $75k to $500k to spend 40 hours a week “doing good” for humans as I discern opportunities over the next year. If you have ever wanted to leverage “random acts of kindness” and “doing good for others” please be in touch! 🙂
  8. Customer service MORE INFO
  9. Warm sales. I wish I had the stones to do door to door cold calls, however I am very good at helping curious people find great solutions
  10. Marketing, public relations and business strategy (except for anticipating “The Response” to a virus)
  11. Mentoring in business, life, relationships, friendships
  12. Windshield chip repair (Former owner of Windshield Repair of JH)

Things that I am good at (or at least above average) and that I am interested in considering:

  1. Basic website design MORE INFO
  2. Writing and publishing books MORE INFO
  3. I can carry lumber, bricks and stuff from that pile to over there
  4. I can dig ditches
  5. I can package things in boxes and sort mail (former co-owner of two UPS Stores) (My wife did the brain work, but you oughta see me with packaging tape and those staticy foam peanut things!)
  6. Toilet cleaning and other janitorial tasks
  7. Bagging groceries
  8. Driving people or things

Things that I am NOT good at and that are low on my “preferences” list:

  1. Bureaucratic paperwork, applying for government permits, etc.
  2. Inserting Oxford commas in the correct places
  3. Immoral / unethical things – my principles don’t yield anymore
  4. Standing on hard surfaces without moving for over 6 hours (Two strong martinis when I get home seems to relieve the back pain and help me sleep, but from what I hear, this is not a good long-term plan)
  5. My shoulders don’t allow me to do repetitive tasks with my hands staying above my shoulders (E.g. dancing to YMCA, painting, etc)
  6. Anything mechanical (Numerous references available)

I am entitled to:

No, that isn’t how any relationship should work.

We will each agree to what we will each do for the other, and we will stick to our word. I will focus on going above and beyond for you, and I trust that you will do the same for me. I suggest that you do not pay me for the first day, I will, likely, be learning, failing, and learning again and will not be of much value to your mission on day 1 of my learning curve.

In a previous job in which I lacked autonomy, I developed a horrible and toxic attitude, felt entitled, and was never even once voted, “easy to manage” by administration. (References available.) In the 15 years since quitting that job, I have been self-employed and very much enjoy the autonomy. I am eager to learn, and I recognize that in 99% of subject matter areas, I know very little.

Notes:

*FYI, I will still be working about 20-30 hours a week on other businesses, other projects, authoring books etc in addition to my time with you, and I promise to arrive and perform with a bushy-tail and bright-eyes. I am used to 90-ish hour weeks as a serial entrepreneur business owner.
*I have a few pre-existing date and project commitments that I need to keep.
*When I am again able to operate my business, I will need to return to it. I know this isn’t optimal, and I will be in excellent communication with you about this. I will continue my adult dedication to under-promising and over-delivering.
*During any lunch or other breaks I get, I will be handling booking calls for my business.

Harsh Advice for the Unemployed Guy